mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
