Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
