The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
