Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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