she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Let's get the cat blown out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
