But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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