So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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