u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
