I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
