I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That accounts for only three of the penises
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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