Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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