Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
