Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
