I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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