I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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