we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
