'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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