so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize