I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
