Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
