Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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