Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
