Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
