I got chris browned last night
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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