Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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