Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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