it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
