I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
