i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
