Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
