You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
