make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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