real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
