i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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