I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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