i think i scared a bird with my dick
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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