I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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