thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
