I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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