spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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