When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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