OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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