well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
