I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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