You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think a kid would responsible me up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
