You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
