I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
