I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
