What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
