stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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