so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
