Whod you bang
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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