Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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