He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
