at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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