sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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