Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
