Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
