yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
