Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
