holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
