Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
