If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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