For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Terrible idea I love it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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