i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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