is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
