Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
